i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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