Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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