Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
