Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
