he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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