You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
