chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
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as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
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Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"