Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.

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  (313): Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical. http://tfl.nu/9qp0
  Replies (2) Good night (918) Bad night (1111)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Farmville is her only friend.

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  (847): Farmville is her only friend. http://tfl.nu/6s8i
  Replies (55) Good night (906) Bad night (5723)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw

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  (614): There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw http://tfl.nu/mvua
  Replies (45) Good night (7492) Bad night (804)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.

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  (318): the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese. http://tfl.nu/xs1m
  Replies (7) Good night (3524) Bad night (946)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.

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  (860): no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed. http://tfl.nu/hsf7
  Replies (8) Good night (3904) Bad night (1273)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.

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  (407): I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex. http://tfl.nu/84ml
  Replies (34) Good night (5401) Bad night (1110)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.

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  (605): She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes. http://tfl.nu/x8cz
  Replies (5) Good night (2505) Bad night (1327)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.

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  (701): All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats. http://tfl.nu/27ky
  Replies (2) Good night (628) Bad night (1173)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.

  (1-443): View more from Maryland

  That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.

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  (443): Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please. (1-443): That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude. http://tfl.nu/3mvf
  Replies (18) Good night (1125) Bad night (2773)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?

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  (765): google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY? http://tfl.nu/u2sp
  Replies (4) Good night (969) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.

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  (269): We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable. http://tfl.nu/14d9
  Replies (3) Good night (1591) Bad night (556)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's not even 9:30 yet..

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  (215): Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk. (1-215): It's not even 9:30 yet.. http://tfl.nu/cpxo
  Replies (6) Good night (857) Bad night (408)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white

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  (610): I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white http://tfl.nu/fhnw
  Replies (5) Good night (865) Bad night (581)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.

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  (+44): New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest. http://tfl.nu/rx56
  Replies (2) Good night (640) Bad night (269)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.

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  (210): Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline. http://tfl.nu/jwnb
  Replies (3) Good night (840) Bad night (286)

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