Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.