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• (925): View more from California

  While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  That's cool how's he been?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.

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• (315): View more from New York

  I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?

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• (323): View more from California

  Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  How early is too early to study with margaritas?

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  "my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"

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• (716): View more from New York

  When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.

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• (058): View more from

  Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face

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