Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?

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(314): Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent? http://tfl.nu/oc2y

Replies (20) Good night (932) Bad night (1932)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.

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(479): Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships. http://tfl.nu/he2q

Replies (69) Good night (1724) Bad night (2690)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.

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(701): two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room. http://tfl.nu/az3h

Replies (31) Good night (768) Bad night (8613)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me

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(781): just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me http://tfl.nu/gh9y

Replies (12) Good night (918) Bad night (4019)
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(224): View more from Illinois

I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.

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(224): I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone. http://tfl.nu/1jen

Replies (12) Good night (7054) Bad night (1016)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.

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(918): He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is. http://tfl.nu/or0q

Replies (20) Good night (4559) Bad night (947)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!

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(402): Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?! http://tfl.nu/bwn3

Replies (4) Good night (2877) Bad night (1019)
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(989): View more from Michigan

Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.

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(989): Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings. http://tfl.nu/rih3

Replies (5) Good night (2575) Bad night (859)
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(847): View more from Illinois

no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.

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(847): no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them. http://tfl.nu/1ayu

Replies (1) Good night (1427) Bad night (606)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.

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(763): Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/1p73

Replies (1) Good night (1461) Bad night (508)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.

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(412): He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far. http://tfl.nu/xxyj

Replies (11) Good night (2423) Bad night (648)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends

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(919): Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends http://tfl.nu/02aa

Replies (3) Good night (1112) Bad night (454)
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(941): View more from Florida

The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo

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(941): The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo http://tfl.nu/icnx

Replies (6) Good night (1313) Bad night (577)
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(248): View more from Michigan

David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.

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(248): David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed. http://tfl.nu/8lak

Replies (0) Good night (934) Bad night (392)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me

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(306): I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me http://tfl.nu/ybnl

Replies (3) Good night (231) Bad night (692)

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