Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  8:17pm: So, How was fun day?

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success

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  (845) 8:17pm: So, How was fun day? (201) 1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success http://tfl.nu/xkzo
  Replies (11) Good night (1692) Bad night (530)
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  (718): View more from New York

  You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.

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  (718): You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants. http://tfl.nu/n5jd
  Replies (11) Good night (2210) Bad night (841)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"

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  (215): Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up" http://tfl.nu/ev4p
  Replies (2) Good night (3121) Bad night (997)
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  (805): View more from California

  im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking

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  (805): im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking http://tfl.nu/diqd
  Replies (26) Good night (4395) Bad night (790)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.

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  (757): He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds. http://tfl.nu/ihy8
  Replies (41) Good night (3007) Bad night (4812)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...

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  (248): I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby... http://tfl.nu/0zej
  Replies (17) Good night (1785) Bad night (5681)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"

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  (214): I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?" http://tfl.nu/quj5
  Replies (15) Good night (7362) Bad night (944)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.

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  (703): I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench. http://tfl.nu/hb4t
  Replies (11) Good night (2744) Bad night (1902)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.

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  (989): Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment. http://tfl.nu/uqhq
  Replies (20) Good night (3101) Bad night (977)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!

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  (515): I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th! http://tfl.nu/5xz8
  Replies (0) Good night (1089) Bad night (540)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.

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  (804): I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager. http://tfl.nu/fc01
  Replies (2) Good night (1083) Bad night (463)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy

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  (443): I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy http://tfl.nu/5ksv
  Replies (5) Good night (437) Bad night (638)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.

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  (720): I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer. http://tfl.nu/osbe
  Replies (8) Good night (1459) Bad night (590)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented

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  (512): We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented http://tfl.nu/cc07
  Replies (3) Good night (604) Bad night (300)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.

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  (919): All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there. http://tfl.nu/arna
  Replies (1) Good night (645) Bad night (255)

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