My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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