Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i turned job hunting into a drinking game..

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  (651): i turned job hunting into a drinking game.. http://tfl.nu/xroj
  Replies (20) Good night (5806) Bad night (726)
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  (845): View more from New York

  the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did

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  (845): the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did http://tfl.nu/11j3
  Replies (11) Good night (1126) Bad night (4362)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me

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  (303): i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me http://tfl.nu/46xf
  Replies (11) Good night (3702) Bad night (774)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem

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  (214): Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem http://tfl.nu/y1i7
  Replies (6) Good night (3457) Bad night (801)
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  (914): View more from New York

  you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.

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  (914): you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap. http://tfl.nu/d86b
  Replies (10) Good night (1494) Bad night (3324)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.

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  (973): composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals. http://tfl.nu/kw2o
  Replies (13) Good night (5306) Bad night (943)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.

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  (202): You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first. http://tfl.nu/24o7
  Replies (3) Good night (723) Bad night (1585)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.

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  (970): The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch. http://tfl.nu/vgkc
  Replies (5) Good night (1285) Bad night (578)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time

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  (515): Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time http://tfl.nu/sgzo
  Replies (10) Good night (1721) Bad night (633)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?

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  (248): Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date? http://tfl.nu/49q5
  Replies (14) Good night (2508) Bad night (823)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.

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  (860): I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time. http://tfl.nu/nvbm
  Replies (11) Good night (1100) Bad night (436)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.

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  (330): The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk. http://tfl.nu/09ej
  Replies (2) Good night (807) Bad night (302)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.

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  (775): I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation. http://tfl.nu/xcew
  Replies (2) Good night (537) Bad night (252)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?

  (512): View more from Texas

  Won't she run out of nose eventually?

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  (254): She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually? (512): Won't she run out of nose eventually? http://tfl.nu/f0dc
  Replies (3) Good night (521) Bad night (577)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.

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  (630): Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween. http://tfl.nu/xmh1
  Replies (2) Good night (510) Bad night (275)

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