Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?

  (509): View more from Washington

  Places.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Plural? Please tell.

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  (503): We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep? (509): Places. (503): Plural? Please tell. http://tfl.nu/23q8
  Replies (5) Good night (2818) Bad night (701)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.

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  (239): and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer. http://tfl.nu/xmgi
  Replies (5) Good night (685) Bad night (1988)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.

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  (770): Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable. http://tfl.nu/w2xg
  Replies (16) Good night (2775) Bad night (1365)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"

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  (870): You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call" http://tfl.nu/7z02
  Replies (29) Good night (10118) Bad night (996)
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  (949): View more from California

  this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head

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  (949): this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head http://tfl.nu/73zt
  Replies (48) Good night (1483) Bad night (7649)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.

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  (612): Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever. http://tfl.nu/d9v5
  Replies (8) Good night (3223) Bad night (875)
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  (530): View more from California

  I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.

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  (530): I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight. http://tfl.nu/7iib
  Replies (54) Good night (4709) Bad night (872)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?

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  (832): I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right? http://tfl.nu/xt5v
  Replies (38) Good night (5296) Bad night (1113)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"

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  (419): I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion" http://tfl.nu/b5an
  Replies (11) Good night (7210) Bad night (1173)
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  (760): View more from California

  I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.

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  (760): I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day. http://tfl.nu/8ipd
  Replies (4) Good night (3246) Bad night (828)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.

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  (941): I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh. http://tfl.nu/0uja
  Replies (2) Good night (931) Bad night (2044)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.

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  (423): I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume. http://tfl.nu/wnwb
  Replies (1) Good night (639) Bad night (439)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask

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  (917): It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask http://tfl.nu/rcu9
  Replies (1) Good night (461) Bad night (339)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.

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  (203): I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all. http://tfl.nu/yj74
  Replies (1) Good night (329) Bad night (482)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you

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  (505): Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you http://tfl.nu/jh87
  Replies (2) Good night (766) Bad night (206)

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