Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
barbara walters just said penis...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
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drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
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4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You brought string cheese to the strip club