absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
