I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize