Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
