Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize