i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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