where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
