What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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