i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You are a genius and a whore.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
