we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
