So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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