On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
