A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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