If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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