he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
