So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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