Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
