Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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