Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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