Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
