I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
