would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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