chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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