im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
