her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
