Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
