overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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