I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I have tasted many bathrooms
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
