physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
