suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
