Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
