My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
