Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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