Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
