i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
