yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
