I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you more than these girls want KFC
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize