I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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