How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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