i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
