i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Randomize
