He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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