out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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