doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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