evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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