ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
