Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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