so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
