I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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