3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
