There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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