I'm really into asian looking animals
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
