i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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