So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
