Plan B is the new Plan A
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
