If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
