:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
