Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
