i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
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She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
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I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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