Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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