Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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