Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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