I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize