the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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