Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".

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(706): Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe". http://tfl.nu/cnav

Replies (7) Good night (2486) Bad night (741)
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(941): View more from Florida

I was born with a shot glass in my hand

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(941): I was born with a shot glass in my hand http://tfl.nu/41xg

Replies (30) Good night (3529) Bad night (593)
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(313): View more from Michigan

theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.

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(313): theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen. http://tfl.nu/by0t

Replies (16) Good night (1662) Bad night (3339)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.

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(678): Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed. http://tfl.nu/4nvh

Replies (12) Good night (595) Bad night (4430)
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(941): View more from Florida

I really should sober up and deal with this hangover

(941): View more from Florida

It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though

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(941): I really should sober up and deal with this hangover (941): It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though http://tfl.nu/cygd

Replies (5) Good night (2055) Bad night (877)
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(626): View more from California

All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.

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(626): All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me. http://tfl.nu/0mc8

Replies (19) Good night (4488) Bad night (1089)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?

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(248): Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain? http://tfl.nu/gohm

Replies (10) Good night (2521) Bad night (1077)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up

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(217): Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up http://tfl.nu/7l2l

Replies (4) Good night (1748) Bad night (807)
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(301): View more from Maryland

"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.

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(301): "Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there. http://tfl.nu/ru2o

Replies (11) Good night (1814) Bad night (503)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters

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(401): Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters http://tfl.nu/a1rx

Replies (2) Good night (496) Bad night (991)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.

(732): View more from New Jersey

you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.

(732): View more from New Jersey

IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.

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(732): You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home. (732): you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato. (732): IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME. http://tfl.nu/cjpu

Replies (6) Good night (1310) Bad night (571)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?

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(404): Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders? http://tfl.nu/hbxh

Replies (2) Good night (344) Bad night (1146)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I need rollerblades now

(774): View more from Massachusetts

Rollerblades pick up bitches

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(774): I need rollerblades now (774): Rollerblades pick up bitches http://tfl.nu/hoew

Replies (7) Good night (901) Bad night (342)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.

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(763): Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge. http://tfl.nu/dfv5

Replies (1) Good night (668) Bad night (244)
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(707): View more from California

WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"

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(707): WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!" http://tfl.nu/knx8

Replies (5) Good night (281) Bad night (437)

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