If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
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Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.