we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I have tasted many bathrooms
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
