Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.