if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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