So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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